Red

I open my eyes.

Red.

The flag of my passion lying torn in my hands. Like streams of blood the ragged tears and threads trail across my finger-tips. Like threads of life I see them slip away until they fall to lie in a pool at my feet.

I lift my eyes.

Red.

Rings around my vision pulse with my every footstep as I run to my car. The door slams. The engine roars. I am flying down the street towards . . . I can’t be sure. All I know is that I am looking for more red. My fingers clench and unclench on the wheel. With a sudden movement like a spasm, my right hand shoots out, plunging under the passenger seat. It resurfaces wrapped around a thin, cold bundle.

I lower my eyes.

Red.

My foot slams on the brakes, jolting me to a stop. The car hums and I feel the rings around my vision vibrate as it idles. My fevered fingers tear at the plastic wrapping on the bundle. It shreds, like my flag, and drifts soundlessly to the floor. Like demented spiders my hands crawl all over – claw at the cold black shape. A lever shifts. Something hisses like a snake. I shudder as the shape opens and across its interior I see a wide silver band, on which is stamped a skull.

I narrow my eyes.

Red.

The car door slams again as I step out onto the hot asphalt. I grip the black and silver shape convulsively. My knuckles tighten until they feel as if they’re about to burst. A radiant sun beats down on my uncovered head, making the rings around my vision pulse like a lethargic heartbeat. Little pulse . . . bigger pulse . . . little pulse . . . bigger pulse. I sway, ready to crumple to the ground. Ready to slip soundlessly to the turf.

I lift my eyes.

Red.

Brick on brick on brick the building before me rises. I see words on the side of it, but they’re not red. I walk, slowly, moving faster every moment. Red, red, red my footsteps pound as I break into a run. I am stumbling, about to fall. About to crumble into nothingness. No, no – I must have more red. Just as I reach the double-glass doors on the red building, I see a flashing sign from inside.

I rub my eyes.

Red.

The door hisses almost silently behind me as I enter. Another door. Silence. There are voices humming in the distance. The sign flashes and I hear the words of it read aloud in my head: Pizza-day! May 23^rd; Be a LION and ace your grade!; Teacher’s Meeting, April 5^th; School Rally, Tonight in the Gym. A school. I glance around me wildly. Guards? Teachers? Principal? Students . . .

I lower my eyes.

Red.

Beneath my feet the tiles recede as my uneven steps eat them up like the snapping jaws of a starved wolf. I prowl down the corridors in search of more red. Posters, sticky-notes, cans, flags . . . flags. The veined fingers of my free hand reach out, tearing one of those flags from the wall. I cradle it to my chest and whimper. A flag – not my flag, but a flag. I have a flag. A flag . . . but it’s not enough. And as I turn a corner, I am struck by a tidal wave of sound.

I lift my eyes.

Red.

The throbbing ring around my eyes contracts as I gaze over the sea of heads spread before me. Every pulse of their incessant, mindless noise shatters my thoughts. I can’t think – can’t collect anything from the broken pieces. There’s only one solid reality.

I lower my eyes.

Red.

The red flag wrapped around my red hand where one red-clothed finger strokes the red skull. My fingers twitch and I fiddle with a small stick in the red skull’s mouth. It moves, it vibrates in my trembling grasp. I realize, at the last second-

It is a pin.

This is a bomb.

I lift my eyes.

Red.

The future is red. All I have to is pull the pin and I’ll have all the red in the world.

I feel the fragment of metal slip through my fingers as it falls from the red-skull’s mouth.

I close my eyes.

Red.