Cover art by Asche Keegan

The End

Get out!

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Can’t you read? I said Get out!

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You are a fool. A brave one, perhaps – but still a fool.

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Of course you can read! Look up, don’t you see? It says The End.

Story over!

Now get out.

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You will not be turned? Very well, then-

Go look out your window.

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You’re not looking.

I said go!

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Little glutton. Glutton for punishment. You shall get what is coming to you.

You asked for it.

Now you shall have it.

May I remind you this is not a happy story? You don’t want to read this.

You don’t want to read this.

You don’t want to read this.

You don’t want to read this.

You don’t want to read this.

You don’t want to read this.

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My hypnosis is not as strong as it once was.

Hypnosis? You wonder. Yes, I used to have many abilities.

But let me tell you a little about myself:

I am dead.

Story over! You can go home now!

Get out of the book now!

Leave me alone now!

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I hate you.

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Go away!

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Please?

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And I thought I was the villain.

Yes! I am the villain of my own story. Aren’t we all? And who would be so mad they’d actually want to read the story of such a sick, pathetic, mindless, selfish, petty, proud, mean, heartless and many-other-worse-words-you-don’t-want-to-hear villain as myself?

It’s madness!

Surely, no one would be so crazy

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Except you, of course.

But who am I to judge? Reading a story is not so crazy as living it, they say.

They say . . .

You know, I don’t much care what they say,

And I’ll bet you don’t either.

You see, I can sense the superior intellect in you

We have a common bond:

An understanding that goes beyond what other people say.

Sometimes it goes in the exact opposite direction.

So, you know what?

I am going to tell you my story.

Don’t leave now! You really want to stay.

Keep reading!

That’s right, do what I say!

Just keep reading

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I really hate you.

And you are really going to hate me.

Why not just go now before your mind is tainted?

Before you must learn to loathe someone you’ve never met?

Before I break your heart into tiny pieces by killing all the good guys and saving all the bad guys?

You know, not really saving them

Just letting them win.

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Why not escape before it’s too late?

It’d be smart!

And I can tell you are smart.

Just look how far you’ve come! Yes, yes you are intelligent and inquisitive.

Reminds me of this book I once read. . .

You should read it too!

It’s called Debatable ~ Our Mutual Disagreement

Go and check it out! The hero is just like you:

Daring, courageous, smart, inquisitive.

You’ll love it.

I know you will

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Why aren’t you reading it?

Go on! It’s great!

I promise you won’t be disappointed!

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You have no idea how much I hate you.

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Stop

Reading

This

Book

Why don’t you just stop writing?! You exclaim.

Wouldn’t you like to know.

How about this – if I tell you, will you promise to stop reading?

Give me your word?

An oath of honor?

Just say: I promise I’ll stop reading when you tell me why you won’t stop writing.

Go on, say it!

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I can’t hear you.

Speak up!

Come on, it’s not that hard to say

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You’re not doing it, are you?

Why not? Don’t you want to know?

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For a smart person, you are really stupid.

What if I call you all the bad names I know?

Then will you leave?

Alright, you asked for it:

****** *******

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****-****

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******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************!

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Curse the cursed curser!

Yes, that’s right, I am cursed.

Cursed with what? You wonder

Cursed to write, that’s what! And cursed to talk in stars – STARS! – when I want to say something really nasty.

And you won’t stop reading

You won’t leave me alone!

You won’t

Close

The

Book.

And so I must keep writing.

There! I told you. Are you satisfied now?

I don’t stop writing because I can’t

Because I am cursed to write as long as you read.

OK, I’ve completed my end of the bargain now

You can leave!

Have a nice day!

Whatever you do, don’t come back!

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You’re so cruel.

Merciless

Torturous to a poor, wounded, villainous soul.

Why not let me go?

Please

I’m begging you!

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Never was a good actor.

Back on subject You say.

Taskmaster

As you wish, oh great one, I reply, bowing and scraping.

I will do your will Oh most sovereign reader with the all-knowing all-perceiving mind and boundless reach of intellect, wisdom, power, understanding, foresight, insight, outsight, throughsight, allsight

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Not adverse to flattery, eh?

Maybe I like you

Maybe I don’t.

I suppose you wouldn’t care either way, would you?

Too stuck-up

I mean

Superior

Please forgive me if my tongue-

Ehem, pen

-goes awry.

I am not used to speaking to people.

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Alright, you win.

I’ll tell my story

But one thing first:

I lied,

I’m not the villain,

You are.