Contact Lost

But, wait, I don’t wear contacts. You point out dubiously.

And this is why your grades are so bad.

Hey, hold on, my grades are pretty good! You counter.

If that’s what you think.

I’m being modest.

And I’m not convinced

That’s not going to change my grades.

Actually, it is

Because, you see . . .

I

Am

The

Author.

Another thing, before we proceed.

The chapter title also has a subtitle, which I forgot to include.

As a whole, it runs:

Contact Lost (or) Boredom, Part 1

Ahhh, yes, I can feel your excitement!

After all, I can make as many parts as I please

And hold you in a continual thralldom of non-existence.

Now, shall we continue?

I think I’m going to enjoy this one!

~ ~ ~

The next day, it rains.

Typical, you groan, though you are still sitting before your drop-streaked window-

Staring out.

Just

Staring

Staring

Staring

Staring

Maybe wanting to throttle your author . . .

Just a little.

Or throw this book at his head!

Now that would be fun . . .

Not if he caught it, you think.

Ah, yes, then he might confiscate it, mightn’t he?

You nod slowly, in time with the beating wind.

Oh, it’s a lovely view isn’t it?

Just

Staring

Staring

Staring

Staring

Staring

Really wanting to throw something at your author.

It is a dangerous life I lead . . .

By your own choice, you growl.

Well, yes.

But let’s get back to the exciting view, shall we?

.

.

.

Then you stubbornly decide that staring’s no good,

So

You start counting raindrops-

There goes one

Oh look, the little one just got swallowed by the big one

Three smash each other into nonexistence

It’s like a war

And gravity always wins.

Down the rain-drops trickle, all retreating before an irresistible force

Big swallow little

Little make big bigger

Bigger fall faster

Little creep slowly

Medium sorta wait to become either little or big

Raindrops run down each others’ paths

Running

Down

Down

Down

Down

Down

Down

Down

Down

Alright, you think, shaking your head abruptly, This is useless.

But, hey, it’s fun too, right? I mean, who hasn’t watched raindrops and wondered if the little ones scream before the big ones eat them or the big ones cheer when their fellow finally drips off the glass.

Do raindrops die?

Maybe

What do you call it when a raindrop stops being a raindrop and joins another big puddle?

Depends on your perspective

You see, to a giant, those puddles are just raindrops, whereas to an inter-galactic planet-eating worm, Earth’s oceans are just puddles.

Then again, a puddle by your size is also an ocean to an amoeba

And a rain-drop is an ocean to an atom.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

The relation of sizes

How your life can mean everything to you, but so little to anyone else

After all, they aren’t you.

They can’t understand how valuable and important you are to the existence of the universe,

Especially since, if you were to die, the world would cease to exist

Right?

Wrong

Your world would cease to exist

And everyone else would go on as happily, or unhappily, as before

Except the people who know me, you object.

Sure, they’ll remember – but they themselves are so few, it wouldn’t matter

Nothing would matter

Nothing does matter.

Life is just a series of absurd coincidences and mad possibilities

In which, at any second, you could die

Or you could wake up in another world

Or you could close the book.

.

.

.

Am I making you depressed?

If I believed you, maybe, you reply, But you tipped your hand there.

Ah, by saying you could close the book?

A mere friendly suggestion

After all – what’s the point?

Definitely not what you say it is, you answer.

Then? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That’s a lot of points you have there, you point out.

Ouch

Bad puns are unnecessary

Hey, yours are worse! You retort

To the unintelligent observer

When tricks fail, insults take the head, you think wryly.

Especially when you take them to heart.

What?

Never mind

We are not here to communicate

We are here for me to show you how pointless everything is, and-

“. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .”

Ha, nice try.

So I get to be boring sometimes too, you smirk.

Only when I let you

Hang on though, you interject, You couldn’t stop me from telling you how really lonely you were before and how much you need a real friend.

You have no idea how hard it was not to interrupt you just now.

So we establish your lack of manners, you reply, But back on subject: if you couldn’t stop me before-

Oh, I could.

Uh, no you couldn’t.

Could to.

Could not.

Could to.

Could not.

Could to.

Could not.

Could to!

Could not!

COULD TO

COULD NOT

COULD TO!!!

COULD NOT!!!

Could-

Wait, what are we disagreeing about? You interrupt.

That I happen to be louder in your head than you.

No, that wasn’t it.

Sure it was.

No it wasn’t

Was to

Was not

Was to

Was not!

Was to!

WAS NO- hold on! You gasp, Stop! I need to-

Stop thinking?

Anything but that.

Why?

Because to stop thinking means I would be dead.

Then you must be a really good-looking zombie.

What?

Think about it

.

.

.

Yeah, moving on, you grumble, I said you couldn’t stop me from saying what I wanted to before.

And I refuted you.

Mostly because you’re wrong.

No, you think slowly, I don’t think I am.

At last! You admit that you don’t think!

.

.

.

Oh, there’s goes another raindrop . . .

So if you couldn’t stop me from saying what I wanted to before, you resume.

Incorrect – I couldn’t stop you from thinking what you wanted to. There is a great difference.

All right, so I can think what I want, you reply.

Yes, you can

You can also choose not to think when you please,

But I suppose you’ll never do that . . .

No, I could do that, you retort, It’s just-

Time for this chapter to end.

“****!”

And the author laughs.